Friday, July 24, 2015

The End: New Beginnings ' D'Book of Myths '

Produced arranged composed and performed by Lord Ur-ros aka Myth-Ra Raised

The Source: Myth's Roots 

Benign Aggression:Save Your Self or Self Destruct 

Benign Aggression:Save Your Self or Self Destruct P-2 

Credentials and the Development of Conservative Principles: 

Credentials and the Development of Conservative Principles: 

The Problem Solving Plan 

Solar Bird - From the Ashes: Scales 

Businessman Bum or Bandit Project - The Recession 

Businessman Bandit or Bum Project 

Problems: ' So I'm a Bum now?.. No Megas Go-Billion! ' [

 Shemariah Entertainment l Bucephalus Pro

Chapter-I The Source: Myth's Roots [1970-1988']

First Blood

Myth-Ra Raised  was born 5-1-70, in Montclair, NJ. He was the 3rd of 4 children from his mother and the first born from his father. The two elder brothers had different fathers from each other and, Myth-Ra and the youngest.  It is said to that Myth-Ra and the youngest have the same father. Myth-Ra was named D'Artis A Alexander by the one said to be his physical father, Robert E. Alexander [deceased]. It is all a mystery to Myth-Ra. His said father was from New Jersey, his mother is from Portsmouth, Va. It was a short stay in New Jersey. At one time he and a 5 years older sibling were in a shelter, in New Jersey.
 " I remember darkness, walking outside of a big white house or building, where there were a lot of kids. I remember feeling a lot of negative emotions: unhappiness." His mother would visit ocassionally. " I remember my mother visited, I was happy to see her. I cried from the thought of her leaving. After the short stint in the shelter the family regrouped then moved to Virginia, where the mother originated [the father stayed with the family off and on for a couple of years disappeared and latter died from pneumonia, so he was told]. "I had an excellent feeling towards my father and the paternal side of the family. I always asked my mother questions about my father and his family, I loved going through the family  albums"
The amount of time D'Artis was in New Jersey was extremely short. After a couple of brief settlings, home for D'Artis Anthony Alexander became Twin Canal Village, in Virginia Beach, Va. There he was raised from 8 to 19 years old.

Twin Canal Village 78-89'
' from 78-89 [An avid breaker from 81-82 to 83-84] Myth was a natural when it came to dancing or  anything creative. " I Breaked [ I was the best variable break dancer in the neighborhood].. I was the one that took breaking seriously, doing moves like knee rock to the backspin to the headspin freeze or I'd pull my pants down while spinning,. I had the rawest foot work out there, around period. And I had one of the nicest headspins.  I'd dive into the back spin then freeze or pop out or go into a head spin. I'd do 1990s [ 1 hand hand stand spinning to a headspin] , I was known for doing Egyptian routines with my brother Jerry, ending with a flip to pose, he'd spin me on top of his head my stomach was on top of his head legs and arms straight. I had a solid 6 pack then. I'd step into my brother's hands and back flip. I had all kinds of moves. I won talent shows with different crews. We'd battle in [schools, malls  and neighborhoods]. The best groups were big and had somebody with a hot move. 

The best groups were big and had somebody that mastered a move 
The Body Breakers: I was known as Devastating-D as a breaker [Black] was the headspin, foot rock, variable guy; my older brother Jerry or ' Driver ' [Black]: was the elbow spin [rarely seen people do this move], acrobats and flips.. He also had a nice windmill: regular, heads flare and a diplomat; [my main man & my favorite all around] Damian '  or Keith ' [Black]: did a lil of everything [the most creative entertainer in the group]; Tony or ' Pretty Tony ' [Black and White]: popper; The Twins ' Charles & John ' [Latino]: crabs: regular and the skip, windmill, headspin, poppers -personality/entertainers [young and short and the girls called them cute]; Keithie [white] The youngest in the group. Blonde hair blues eyes ' girls loved him ' known for the super swipe, poppin, personality. he was about the same age as the twins but he was one of the originals too. He was one of the first Skaters I seen [ the twins turned into skaters too]; 'The God Father [Mexican Los Angeles] popper breaker/supreme entertainer.. He made a crunch sounds with his teeth while popping his body, and his right hand man was Derrick - I'ma call him ' Detroit ' because this brother and the God Father weren't running and were talented, [Black] windmill/breaker and the owners of the group were 2 brothers: John & Henry [white and filipino]: windmill KINGS.. John had a tight head windmill, while Henry had the regular windmill and the skip flare or windmill... * we use to call the windmill flare back in the day until people actually started flaring. But his was the fastest, sharpest and smoothest I have EVER seen to this day.. legs were perfectly straight. Literally, papper and stuff in the room would start flying - phenominal, and finally their ace, possibly a partner as well Jackie ' Super Swipe ' [black], we called him Super Swipe because he had the best superswipes - perfect! and he was the graffiti artist. They had a manager Danny [he looked white and filipino.. he was intelligence, and his brother lil brother rode with us in the trunk of the car] that got us in bars and they made a KILLING. Every single week the same bars between 12 & 2am. Bikers types use to throw tips on the dance floor. We'd go to projects and battle.  We'd competed at Norfolk State University.. They were among the SUPER GROUPS. And all of the SUPER GROUPS were connected to Martial Art Studios: Kung-fu or Karate. They were super fit!! "

Large Bars Body Breakers performed weekly for pay

And one more name I forgot.

Super Groups

Body Breakers 
oringinally based in Carper Apartments, alot of members myself included took martial arts with Marvin Wallace ' Tung Lung '

A&M Breakers: 
I remember Donald, a memberin the group. I believe they came out of Wing Chung Studio

ABC Breakers: 
' Marvin Wallace ' Repping Plaza Apartments/Plaza: Kung Fu Instructor: Tung Lung, He taught classes free outside at Plaza Elementary, Hip Hop Dancer. I'd call him a Community Leader.
Definitely a forefather.
and ' Leonard ' [ Black  ] the leader of the Clones I don't know if they were a gang organization or what but they were highly respected. Leonard is a forefather.

Tony was a fore father. He was a well respected martial artist. Vague memory but he was well respected.

The Street Breakers
Street Breakers, from Newport News were ran by the Gilbert brothers, my brother was cool with them. We got kicked out of the house in 84' and moved to Newport News. They were the most organized crew I seen. They made it happen. We performed at roller rinks. They had the best routines, best outfits: they had the tights like New City Breakers in Beatstreet! They supplied power to buildings where they did their thing.. I forgot what it was but.. it was like some New York  stuff. We were on base Ft. Eustis, I think some of them were from New York.. They had a nice size crew. DJs, and a following! Newport News was very supportive!
The Law Breakers
The Law Breakers were rivals to The Street Breakers like Rock Steady were rivals to New York City Breakers. They had the smoothest uniform. it look like it was Cashmere, light green.. pimp! They were dope like The Street Breakers. We never spoke but they were real. 

These two crews may not have had the best technical breakers but they had the best routines by far. They were women pleasers, entertainers.. They incoporated dances like the whop, later came the DC Whop into their routines. I took the routine home with me when I moved back to the beach and we won 3rd place in a junior high talent show. 

I think I've seen some of the best, at least locally but many of them were from around the world. and theydon't let anyone in their circle.

John Pickens and Erin Polly were the best solo talents. john being more Classical mixed with Hip Hop and Erin Polly being more street. He will take your move and do it way better than you! Both were poppers! There was a lot more.. 

DJ Doc Best DJ..

Thrillers was the best group of people..

He continues. [An avid skater from 84-85 to 86-87]" I was a descent skater, and was respected locally. The first boards I got for Christmas was a white Mark Gonzales and a purple John Lucero deck, with independent trucks.  

I played the sax in the school band for a few years, and I usually sat first chair. I went to All-City. I played guitar. I had a few guitars including, 2 Ibanez guitars: one of them was pink and  the other was black - (twins). I played a little drums. In the house there was a drumset, an organ, bells, maracas, bongos... I was in the school band and I also played in a group - The Thrillers. I remember waking up early saturday mornings to sell Krispy Kreme donuts to get equipment for the group. I couldn't bring any instruments outside of the house accept for one raggedy ass guitar. I couldn't have company in the house.I could have created my own group because I had the instruments. The band mostly breaked  

I took karate and won 1st placed in a Chuck Norris tournament, and got 4th place.. I lost because I lost focus. I lost to a short red head kid, I couldn't snap out of an awkward situation."

 He carries on..
"All of that and more before I got into high school, I was very creative"

"I loved breaking before I heard of breaking, I came out of the womb with soul. One of my favorite songs was 'Ring my bell' by Anita Ward, I'd go into a trance dancing to that song, especially during the break."

"It was the freedom. I enjoyed being creative. I felt like I was free from earth's matters. My imagination took me somewhere else. Most everything was created in solitude, by myself."

Within the Shadow
"In Twin Canal I became aware of order, and basic social principles on a community level. I learned the importance of cooperation on a community level. Twin Canal is where I broke out of my artistic shell. I interacted a lot more. I used to spend a lot of time in my head, imagining all types of things; I was more imaginative than talkative. Twin Canal is the place where I started the development of my creative process. I played alone a lot but I'd also participated with squads. It was there I developed self awareness. First you, then your momma, then your household, then your court, then the neighborhood. And don't bring no disrespectful people in the neighborhood, because you will be held accountable"

Example of Scatting

Myth-Ra Raised goes on.
"Everything I did, I practiced alone 90% of the time. I enjoyed practicing." And that is the truth. Myth practiced breaking in the neighborhood laundry mat.  "I was self motivated. I'd share time with a variety of different people who each had different interests or talents. I did get excellent tips from greats. The most influential were Damian from the Body Breakers and Chico whom both told me to put more imagination into my work and to practice on transitions between moves."
Myth-Ra reached blue belt in karate. He trained hard. Starting between the age of 6 or 7 and continued some sort of martial art training until he was 13 years old. When he started breaking, he was flexible and very sharp. Before he knew of break dancing, he was breaking [dancing on the floor doing dragon kicks, russian kicks]. 
"I really felt music deeply. Every person, room, situation had a different beat, vibe, rhythm and the house was full of instruments: bongos, bells, maracas, organ, drum set, guitars.. I played the sax in school, and spent a lot of time sitting first chair. I went to All-City every year and it was more than just having things, because other people in the house had access to the same things I had access to, but they did not choose to use them. I love music, but not just Hip Hop or R&B, I enjoyed all types of music. I was self -motivated.
 I always rapped. I started off scat singing. I put together quite a few songs, using a drum set;  an electric guitar that I used for the rhythm, lead and bass parts, because I didn't have a bass guitar; and the last main instrument was an organ. I'd record using a tape recorder and a dictaphone. I'd use the dictaphone to record material while the recorded material streamed from the tape recorder. I would record the drums first; second I'd record me playing the organ while the drum set was playing out of the recorder; third I'd record me playing the guitar while the recording of  the drums, the organ and the guitar played; and finally I'd rap or sing while everything played together. Occasionally, I'd do a guitar solo. I'd fill cassette tapes with songs, front and back. With songs like "Follow the Spade "" Deja Voo "" I see Red "" D'Artis The Overlord " I kept it to my self, well I tried to. I went out and people had my cassete, playing and singing words to my songs. I took my tape back. I was very upset, but it felt good that they knew the words and was having a good time singing it [like they had it for a long time]. The thing is, how they got it." D'Artis looked heated.

Myth-Ra Raised Roots A

Myth-Ra Raised Roots B

Readings and Influences
I always read socially conscious books. Early on, I read: ' Crisis between Black & White ', ' Message to the Black Man ', ' The Death and Life of  Malcolm X ', ' Black Power ' and other books. I believe I started reading these books, well before I was into Hip Hop. There were Edgar Cayce books in the library, as well as Scientology books. Our next door neighbor, Scope,  was a Hebrew Isrealite, so information trickled down to me through my mother. I remember a green pamphlet that started off with " Shalom ". There was a thick bible with pictures in it, with notes at the bottom. The neighborhood had quite a few Jehovah Witnesses, but most of the people were Christians, so I was warned not to speak on any type of black conscious teachings and I didn't until Public Enemy came out in 87'. I thought it was socially acceptable to speak on black consciousness since everyone was bumping the music. I was mistaken. I remember listening to Bishop Willis, a Christian talk show hosted on WOWI 103 morning program, squabbling with a Muslim caller  'on community issues and right after he called a Christian woman called in and said ' not another Muslim. ' I got the message. A few years passed, the music and cultured changed from DMC to Rakim, P.E. and EPMD. So Hip Hop brought in conscious teachings, fashion and such. I enoyed reading encyclopedias as well. I read books on animals, dinosaurs, Marvel comics books, DC comic books. I enjoyed anything educational, Sci-fi, and my last few years in the neighborhood, I got into metaphysical books because of a paralyzing sleeping disorder that I had most of my life. " When I became more aware of it, it made itself more felt ". I began diagnosing self. During this period I got high, tripped, and tried Robitussin DM [Robo-ed]. They could have played a part in enhancing the strange feelings and visions: "The Shadow" but I had the paralyzing experiences all of my life. I fought it one time.. I had to sleep with a curling bar by me and a bible under my pillow, to feel peace. From the experience, my spirituality intensified with my research.  
Socially, life was great. I had a diverse group of associates.  

From  approximately [76- 80] Karate made it to blue belt under Sensei Don Page - he taught made me tougher; [79-81] Sensei Pitts brought Hip Hop Rappers Delight - he taught me sharpness: to mix martial arts with music in Katas, Sensei Hoggro polished things off/movies. 
[81-83] Sensei Marvin Wallace put everything into play with full contact fighting, conditioning. John Pickens Supplied the first and only group I 've ever been in ' The Thrillers ' I played guitar for The Thrillers but never performed musically, but we breaked with them. I helped build a name for the group. and on the weekends early in the mornings, we'd knock on doors to sell Krispy Kreme glazed donuts for equipment. I took judo at the Kempsville Recreation Center [78-80]:
First place trophy at my first karate tournament, went to finals and got a plaque [wasn't focused]
Was into gymnastics as a kid and won ribbons..
I was in band in elemetary school 6th grade: sat 1st chair- I played the saxophone.
I was ok in school
Junior High as well [82-85]
I usually sat first chair in band. I was known for breaking,. I attended Kung fu classes but it ended around 83',  84'. I street skated [Mark Gonzales, John Lucero were my first boards]. I performed with a close associate in a hotel Ballroom [x-mas Gig] in 87 then afterwards we went to D.C. and hit the "Foxes Playground ", my first strip club, all nude.. hit another club downtown and the strip. That was one of the best times ever.
I went to Old dominion jobcore for a couple of weeks, had to leave because people were gettin in trouble from  big fights.. I went home before my name popped out of a hat [arrested for nothing]
88' I got me a car, it broke down.. I join the Army National Guard to fix it.. 

occasionally I would work with my mother at a restaurant " Tortillia Junction 80 or 81', Volunteered at Animal Kingdom [pet shop] 81', participated in Stama/Stop programs - summer jobs for low income for about 3 years 81-83', worked at Burger Kings 86', Chi Chi's 86-87'

Chapters: 1 l 2 l 3 l 4 l 5 l 6 l 7 l 8 l 9 l 10 l The End: New Beginnings

Chapter-II Benign Aggression:Save Your Self or Self Destruct [1988/89-95']

1988-89 to 95' [P-1]
13 Bravo, Cannon Crewman

Click this Link to see My Job in the National Guard

 Job Corps didn't work for me. My car blew a gasket and I needed $400 to fix it, What should I do? I joined the ARMY [to get my car fix]... I spoke to a recruiter, went to Richmond for the physicalBAM  Ft sills, Ok, here I come! I scored well enough to go in for communication, but they got me. I remember thinking ' what kind of civilian job can I get shooting off cannons? '
But that did not stop me. I made the best out of the situation.. 

I learned:

-how to be a strong Individual
-how to work as a collective

Upon returning I couldn't function properly because my car wasn't fix. I was in the National Guard, but I only seen constructive people once a month and 2 weeks [straight] during the summer.  So I easily regressed back to the prior mind state. I got into trouble, discharge from the military (Honorable - but with no benefits - because I missed too many formations)

The Ignorance was always there but things got 

Even the angels back in the day, had a lil devil in them. In elemetary school going into junior high, we snuck into movie theatres. We'd watch movies back to back at the mall, and basically had a negative attitude towards the outside world. The neigborhood was like an island. Occasionally, we'd steal candy and stuff. I got caught 6 grade stealing GI Joe figures at Kmart. My mother had to come get me. I stole Gi-Joe figures: Ranger, Commando.. and another one. 
In early junior high school.. we'd 
sneak into abandon houses [with honeys/chill-drink].. We were  a lil rowdy.
And the stupidity elevated as the alcohol and drug consumption increased: from weed, pills, acid late junior high, 10th grade.. to the crack era high school. [it wasn't my thing but it was there, effecting the era ]

Crack Destroyed Relationships

Crack caused the criminal activities to elevated and develop meaning. People weren't tripping on acid being silly, they had to have this product and criminal activities for many was mandatory. Crack was apart of the culture because Hip Hop artists looked like the dealers.
When I skated, I still listened to Hip Hop. Infact many of the best breakers in the area, turned into skaters but that is a different story.. 

Musical influenced

I loved Eric B, EPMD, KRS-One, NWA, The Beastie Boys.. But I favored Public Enemy. This new conscious attitude was good because It gave people esteem but at the same time we were fatherless. So, a rebellious nature came to be. 

It was either Fight the Power ' or ' Fuck the Police'

NWA came in rebellious like The Beasties but they had a harsher attitude.. 

This new era came about, after I moved out of the neighborhood [which was middle class] included fairly new associates  and our ties weren't strong and people were getting charges. There was no unity.

[The military tempered me but, I still had some shit in me..]

' Got Me '
Click Video for the B&E/Grand Larceny Video on My Charge in 1989-90'
In 1990 I was charged with B&E/Grand Larceny because of my big mouth. They were arresting a couple of other people and I started running my big mouth from the side lines, next thing you know me and my big mouth were in the backseat of the police car. heading to the precinct.. After over 10 charges wer thrown on me, 2 stuck.. 

My attitude was shitty. I was like you didn't catch me. I am innocent until proven guilty. 

I defended myself in court, reading from an old law book.. I said, 
They said I did it, I say I didn't; there is no physical evidence, no witnesses in court [besides the same 3 officers that arrested me]. If I am innocent until proven guilty, I am still innocent - It's my word, against theirs. Criminal cases deal with facts. This is is not a civil case. The defense rest his case " 

I was found guilty..

I had a public Defender.
Right before the trial he said " You best plead guilty ", in one of those conference rooms. I refused and relieve him of his services and represented myself, though he was beside me during the trial.


He saved me in the end because he said somin after the judge said guilty.. So the court appointed lawyer may have saved me from the Penitentiary.

I had an attitude.. I felt I was crossed so my attitude towards the system worsened even though I was in the military, Army National Guard.

' No Contest '
Click Video to See Video on My Grand Larceny Charge in 1990' 
Sooner than later I got in trouble again, for a car stereo system, a sleeping bag.. and some other dumb crap [courtroom was laughing during the preliminary when the items were announced ]. Everyone said they were asleep [the crime happened at 2:00 a.m.], including the driver of the vehicle. We were hinting to the officers ' I want to talk to my lawyer '.

  ' Basically Everyone just left a house party drunk acting stupid, We were like the last to leave somebody got into a fight with one of the people that own the house. '

Trial day I came into the courtroom with  poster boards, marked up: pictures drawn - ready for war!
AND they revoked my bond, a new trial date was set. 
Court day 
While I was in the dog pen. They said they had a witness and offered 2 - 3 years suspended.  I mentioned my last case [the recent charge,  see - ' Got me '   ]. I didn't want this charge to effect my last charge. I had 5-10 years suspended meaning if I went to trial and lost, I had to do that 5-10 years. I said if this charge doesn't effect that suspended time I will plead No Contest, not guilty.. But No Contest. 
Again I didn't want this new charge to get me locked up because of the suspended time from the last case.. They  could give me the 2 - 3 years supended, but then charge me again separately for violating the last charge. They agreed and, I plead ' No Contest ', rather than ' Guilty '. 

In other words I didn't say I did it. I said I don't have a choice but to say I did it. So I'm not pleading guilty.. My plea was ' No Contest '

Time to Chill

I got 3 ' obstruction of justice charges '. 2 of them were in close proximation of each other: 90' & 92', almost immediately after the ' No Contest ' plea, and another one, 6 years up. I came to the conclusion ' People don't care, unless the right ones are there - image '. In fact, I started thinking they wanted me in jail, more attention for them. And it evolved into why am I here?what am I doing? 
I developed a greater sense of self. I became self-ish.

I wasn't tempered, but I became more cautious.. I was against systems in general, but I was pretty chill. I was still extremely impulsive, a risk taker, hypher [self diagnosed ADHD]! My perception was unique because when I got in trouble, I read books on law, conscious books again. I'd go to the mosque sometimes and other conscious places, book stores. Getting in trouble reawakened an old love - reading. I always did but I went through a dry period. I was in a transition

I was still impulsive and very guilable
From VA to Boston  
An associate and I were working, digging trenches, and mid day we got into an argument [heads butted together]. He said something like, " I bet you wouldn't go to Boston [Mass] with me.  ", [amped a nigga up]
He met a young lady from Boston at " Virginia Beach Greek Fest ". 
I said " Nigga come on.. I got some raps, that needed to be heard!" 
With only 10 dollars between the 2 of us, we decided to make it happen and that was spent, to get us up 2 or 3 cities, to Hampton, Va. I got my military waterproof bag, full of raps and we were off. 

We probably took 50 steps and immediately got a ride.  We took 1000 steps total, up and back: 
got a ride from Hampton to Baltimore [by a truck driver] - to a trucker rest area

a ride from Baltimore to Philly [ by a cool ass brother]. He took us in front of his house, he went in 

for a minute, came back like we were fam and we carried on

 a ride from Philly to New York by a Puerto Rican brother - [He was waving a gun around telling us 

to carjack some got damn body. but he was trying to help]

We took a few steps rested/napped under a bridge [overpass] regrouped and headed toward the city. This is where we walked the most - New York. Lips were blowing in the wind, chapped up from the cars blazing pass us.. 
but a car finally pulled over.. and it was the coach for Boston University Basket-ball team 90-91'. I think his name was Barry.
He was about 5 9'.. Dark skinned, beard...  and not only did he give us a ride, but he offered opportunities. This great man took us to New Haven, Connecticut [strip/downtown], dropped us off at the mall with enough money to eat at Burger King. He told us he was coming back in about a half hour. He came back, we continued up toward Boston and stopped inside of a very fancy restaurant and we ate an expensive dinner. Then he dropped us off in the neighborhood [guns were firing warning shots, I'm thinking]. He told me [while giving me his card], " If you stay here until wednesday.. I have a group for you to meet,  dancers, DJ, producers.."  

I was like, " Helll Yeah!! See you wednesday"
and he left

We then made our way to the phone booth, and my associate called the young lady's house. Her name was Deena but she wasn't home.  her mother answered. 
She was like ' get off them street before you get killed '. She identified us from the window of her apt.. She invited us in, offered us something to drink, got in touch with Deena. She was a police officer, her son was locked up and from what we were told, he was very active and respected on the streets.  
They took care of us. 
Deena showed us the city, and it got more and more beautiful by the day. She showed us where to go to get apartments. The person I went with [Reggie] ended up calling Va.. and he said people were like come back, he approached me like lets leave.. We left 1 day early [tuesday]. All I needed was 1 more day and I would have been on. 
We packed up headed toward the interstate. 
We seen and helped a lady change a flat tire on the interstate.. got 10 dollars a piece, took 20 steps and got picked up by a dude that looked like Nick Nolte. You know the cop that co-starred with Eddie Murphy in the movie 48 hours. The car looked the same and everything, except it wasn't a convertible and he was much cooler. He even picked up another long haired modern hippie dude in Jersey.. I don't know if he made it because he was talking waay too much. The hitch-hiker wanted to get some drugs, dude was down at first but the he changed his mine. But the hitch-hiker kept on talking.. I think he got dealt with. 
got dropped off in Richmond, Va early in the morning, where our directions split, because he was going to Texas. Within a half hour, a cop gave us a ticket and said, if he catches us on interstate again, he will arrest us. So we were stuck.. We got into an argument because he wanted to keep walking on the interstate. He walked I hung out by the hotel off the ramp. I caught a brother, asked for a ride, and another brother came to the rescue. He was going to Norfolk in a sweet Black load, might have been a mustang. We seen the nigga walking, thumb out and we scoop him and he took us all the way to the beach, bought a hotel room for us then split immediately. 
He didn't even came in.

This is the summation to Chapter 7

Chapters: 1 l 2 l 3 l 4 l 5 l 6 l 7 l 8 l 9 l 10 l The End: New Beginnings

Chapter-III Benign Aggression:Save Your Self or Self Destruct P-2 {1988/89-95']

Benign Aggression: Save Your Self or Self-Destruct

1988-89 to 95' [P-2]
Somehow I got talked into going to Florida twice and both times were bloopers. But one of the times I had to hitchhike back..
Again my impulsive nature got me in trouble. 
We were drinking and partying this time. And out of the blue, people were like," let's go to Florida. " Well we went and I ended up hitch-hiking back because the corner off of the Daytona beach strip, a few of us were dropped off on when we first arrived... [dude was suppose to go up the street to get his girl] was the same exact one we got picked up on the next morning [10-12 hrs later]. The dude I rode down there with was suppose to go up the street to get his girl.. I knew I shouldn't have gotten in the car from the jump, back then I was the type of nigga that would split QUICK..  I didn't care how high I was, how far I was from home, who was there. If I smelled some funny shit - I'm gone. My biggest problem was I was too impulsive, and I always stepped into dumb shit.
Immediately I made a sign after we went to the dude driving [Q] girl's house. I said, " Hi - [ to her, she use to live around the way ] do you have a marker "
I ripped up a card board box [10x12],  and wrote, ' VIRGINIA BEACH ' in thick letters with yellowish-green florescent stripes, then I calmly said " take me to the interstate. " 
I got dropped off at the top of a Jacksonville exit ramp on the interstate at about 12 AM [approximately 10-12 hours later], walked down it to a donut shop, called my mother to see if I could get a bus ticket and she said " pray to god." I didn't but I did tie my kicks - tighter, I got a ride from a newspaper truck to downtown Jacksonville, stayed in the bus station overnight, slept, woke up at 5:00 a.m. I walked to the interstate.. and I remember hearing gunshots early in the morning and seeing a older brother looking terrible [drugs]. I took about 20 steps and a raggedy two seater station wagon, filled with fishing rides, shovels, tools and other stuff pulled over.. A older biker looking dude [about 30 - 35 years old] said ' get in ' and I did, couldn't be picky [10 hrs and 23 minutes drive to Virginia Beach].. and the first thing I remember seeing was a bullet by the shift/ashtray. I think that was a hint, for the passenger. He was going to Pennsylvania but ended up taking me all of the way to Virginia Beach. We spent the night at my associates house [ batchelors ]. I knocked on the door smiling ear to ear, with him behind me. I know they were mad at me, for good reasons..
was another adventure, gun threats, stole gas, break ups - make ups.. everything, but all in all he was cool, a true soldier! But I had to ditch him.

After we left my associates crib early in the morning, dude wanted to hit the pawn shops to sell stuff for more gas,
We were riding up the road and, I said " stop ", I got out of the car.. told him from the outside of the car to make a u turn... He was still lookin at me waiting for instructions, then I raised my hand up like, I'm out! He looked at me  like, what?, shook his head, and drove off. I walked home. It took me 15 minutes.
He wanted me to go to Pennsylvania with him - nope.
He thought we made a good team - we did.

At that time my social circle was not made up of neighborhood friends: confidants [unconditional love ones], constituencies [conditional love ones], or comrads [more loyal to you than new associates]. We were fairly new associates. Relations change when appetites change. Friends are more precious than gold, because you can get gold with them or through them. Needs won't separate you - pleasures wont separate you. With these, individual attention: social status, being the most desireable to females or associate, lower pleasures and the likes, were most important and understood. There were no persons from the old neighborhood I grew with - no loayalty: *95% of the people I dealt with were only there for 2 years maximum, seeing them maybe 20 times physically in that 2 year period. Sometimes 2 of those times were in the the same day. I'm a social butterfly. I went to 3 elementary schools. The last one was White Oaks, everyone in White Oaks went to Brandon Junior High. I went there for 1 year, then the next year a couple of neighborhoods got bussed to Princess Anne Jr. High. I went there for the rest of my junior high days [ besides a 2 month stint at Reservoir Middle School in Newport News]. I Breakdanced for a couple of years, then I started skating which invovled a completely different crowd. Over half of the people in Princess Anne went to Kellam High School while I went to Green Run High, back with the people I went to elementary school, and one year of junior high school.and the school was big. I didn't see noby from elementary. I hung in some of the old neighborhoods like Carper during junior high but.. It wasn't very frequent.
I grew up in a beautiful city, even the low income housing were nice, but for the most part there were no father figures-adult males of any sort in the neighborhood. Therefore, there were no consistent rules. In my opinion, we didn't even know how to do wrong right. We were very emotional and deceptive one way or another. Nobody was there to balance the scale, moderate. There were no winos, pimps, the city [area I knew].. [Playas were there and my mother knew some. They were in other cities and the local playas were supa-slick] The boldest and most aggressive [I knew] went to jail early [by 92'] and the deception elevated-immediately after. After I got the 2 felon charges in 90', and the misdemeanors, the idea of re-entering the neighborhood I grew up in was faint because I could get a tresspassing charge. The older charges I got were silly, but the police made it  seem like I was ring-leader.  I was told 3 misdemeanors was a felon. I said to myself I aint playing with these people. I aint saying slighty, I was better than anyone or that there were'nt great people around, but if I have a drug problem and you have a drug, alcohol or any type of problem why are we hanging? Back then when we first met the first thing we'd say was, " Where's the bitches, or where's the weed or alcohol? " Rarely did you hear " let's get this money !" At first people were pretty much on the same side
but things change with the factors.
As social trends come and go, so do people. People are influenced by television, movies, music, females and ect. Crack came into the equation and things changed, as did the music, principles, and the loyalties.
The females became valuable because 9 times out of 10 a nigga didn't have a license, and they always had friends-girlfriends. She could set you up with jobs, her friends/associates. You could sell weed through her, to her friends and their friends and associates [to her if you raw], her friends and associates; meeting more cattle/hindpots for you to station: trade, sell or rent to your friends. Ex. " talk to her for a lil bit; keep it in the family "  It's monopoly mixed with chess. 
It got cliquey within cliques. If you were truly intelligent you wouldn't have been hanging, how I was hanging, if you were in my position. I had too many negatives: I moved out of the neighborhood I grew up in from 78-89 [and didn't maintain relationships]; me and my immediate family members were NOT on the same side of the chessboard, and people knew it and capitalized off of it. 90% of people will play you for your weaknesses; I didn't play the same: do or sell drugs, prior charges through that idea away. I started dabbling into music recordings. I didn't trust a soul, and the spontaneous nature I had dissolved so I was boring. Weed was cool at first but I started hearing a voice and it told me ' wrong circle'. Alcohol drowned the voice but trouble followed, so now I'm pecking the bottle until it's warm then pouring it out. Back in the early 90's, we drank 40s of Crazy horse, Magnums, Cisco, Cool Breeze, MD 20-20  [troouble] mixed with a lil weed up to 93-94'.
The music in the era: NWA, Ice Cube,Onyx, Leaders of the New School was shifting to Pac, Wu, Red Man, Snoop, Mobb Deep ect.
Movies changed, fashion changed..
People mimic movie characters, artists and wanted you to play roles.

It's a game
that knew me when I used to breakdance were shocked to see me skatboarding while other people that knew me when I skated were shocked to see me getting [back] into the Hip Hop Culture: fashion, attitude, which was now more socially conscious.
 that seen me seeking knowledge of self  [ I may have met them through music ] didn't like that I associated with white people while white people didn't like the fact I was changing in image/seeking knowlege of self, not knowing I was into it before I skateboarded or breakdanced
 this created rifts within and inside of social circles. I was at a point where I said to some white people, I can't hang with yal no more because I'm turning Muslim. I felt they really weren't doing anything progressive anyway, but then again a lot of the Hip Hop heads were dealing with or knew someone who dealt with white people themselves. Ultimately issues didn't have anything to do with race. I wouldn't have had any issues with the white folks if the niggaz wouldn't have asked me my opinion while I was chillin' with people [attention'].

Click Video to See Pharrell Williams Video on Growing up in Virginia Beach

" He who has the gold, makes the rules "
Wizard of Id Newspaper cartoon

The music recorded was pretty good. I started meeting a lot of good crews, hit up studios: had bump ins, disagreeances but it was cool because I was learning the game for what it was. I wasn't new to conflict. After I got into trouble earlier, I began hitting the mosque, bookstores. I met a brother, E- , at the mosque and he took me to Newport News, and hipped me on to scrolls.. I started meeting different people at different jobs. I worked a lot of different jobs, types of jobs which enveloped different types of people and experiences.

Sears [stock]
Lonestar Steakhouse [dish/prep]
Olive Gardens [dish]
Doc's Greenhouse[worked in the green house]
Cavalier Hotel [steward department]
*Bulkheads [Built Bulk head builder]
Construction Jobs [brick/carpenter helper]
Temporary services between jobs/Plan B [basic construction]
Traveling Portraits salesperson [sold portraits in the State]
Traveling salesperson Magazines [Florida and Texas]

Between 88-95', I matured greatly. Instead of being impulsive I became alert. I started off trying to do the right thing, joined the Army National Guard but came back money wasn't right, car wasn't fixed, among other negatives and I quickly regressed and landed in trouble. I was full of energy - impulsive and even though I just got back from boot camp, I was ill-disciplined. I was proud that I made it out of boot camp, but I wasn't proud enough to purchase the pictures illustrating my experience while I was there. So something definitely  was missing and it effected my attitude.
I did find a direction, a purpose - goal, and from that I grew to be goal-oriented. The path taught me ' no one is perfect, and because of that, God will constantly challenge me to make me [my soul ] better. In 93',  I decided music and film business was the way. And I recorded in variety of different home studios.

Eaton: 91-92 ' In the Flesh '
The Dirty Lab Entertainment: 91-92 ' in The Flesh '
[Forgot his name]: 92 ' Left, Right, Left.. '
Shinzu: 93' ' The World '
Rob9's Crib: 93-94 ' Take em' ' Time Traveler '
and others songs.

Might is Right
I recognized a consistent pattern in later years - people imitate what they see/hear on TV/radio.  The good, the bad and the ugly. in 88' Rebellious/Protest - PE, 90' Gangsterism - NWA, 93' Creative/Street - Wu, 95' - Playa lyricism - Biggie. Every since the movie Scarface was released, 12-83 which was around the same time crack came on the scene, people have  developed an alpha complex
It was always there, but the degree of it crippled communities.
wants to be Tony Montana, the alpha male. There must be ONE - " I'm the real one ". People wanted to be Suge, Dre, RZA... - ' The Star ', and what's rule #1 in ' The 48 Laws of Power ' 1. Never Outshine the Master '. Books like ' The Art of War ' screwed up the game because now everybody wanted to be BOSS.. of another person or control a region rather than see each other do good.

Chapters: 1 l 2 l 3 l 4 l 5 l 6 l 7 l 8 l 9 l 10 l The End: New Beginnings

Chapter-IV Credentials and the Development of Conservative Principles: Change [1995-01']

2001 Independence
I'm 25 years old and sharp. No longer excessively out going and extremely cautious but I'm still not quite there [mentally]. No more 40 ounces. I'd buy a 6 packs, or maybe a 22 ounce but that is it. And it wasn't malt liquor. It's Heineken, Guiness Stout, Corona or a Michelob and I'm kissing the bottle until it's warm, pouring the rest out. 

I always had a hooptie during this time period [easier to fix]. Before, I was consistently working/hustling, but it was done aimlessly - without a goal that was connected to establishing a business.

After graduating from the hotels [effiencies], I stayed in off and on between 94-95, I eventually got an apartment, by myself, though people have said different [ but know better ]. People said, ' Your momma got it for you ', or she paid my rent, but they know what's up. It's on my credit history [report]. I never asked for, or recieved a dime, or went to my mother's house - she did visit mines a couple of times. I may have recieved articles, that I didn't ask for, because I knew somebody would say ' they were responsible for my achievement ',  but I said to myself, on the day I was leaving, " after I leave next time, I won't even accept a call." Because the insults started before one article was placed on the moving truck. She asked somebody what should we do first. It's my house. 

But let's take it back to me getting the apartment.

The opportunity came after a car accident

I had a blue subaru, and thanks to the Lord I got into an accident in it, on Salem and Independence.. I got hit by a latin brother and at the accident, he said he was wrong to the police. I ended up with $2-3,000. Thank you Atty Land.

I got a couple of outfits paid first and last months rent, on a 1 year lease.

About a $1000 went to a new old car and some gear which came from the first check. [my vehicle was totaled]

About $1000 went on the first and last month rent [chiropractor/medical damage]

My Apartment in Norfolk

- E. Princess Anne Rd. in 96' I got the apartment through GSH Real Estates off of Providence: 1bedroom with additional space connected to the bedroom. 
* in 95'  a lot of time, I was in the ' Breakers Hotel ' in Oceanview, Norfolk, Va, and I later stayed with Chris R., off of Military

In my crib, 4907 E. Princess Anne, it cost about $450.00 a month. It didn't look good but it was in a decent area, close to downtown the interstate and a host of warehouse businesses and the likes.

Click for Video of My Apartment

94-95' Marine deck and coating surfaces: Surface technologies
95 '  Colorful Krull's Painting
95-96' l 99-00 Demolition, Asbestos/Lead removal: A&B Abatement; National Abatement
95-96' Landscaping, I built bulkheads; painted: Beck's Painting
I had a route cleaning restrooms: daycare centers, gas stations, and other businesses.
Temp service employment if needed.
96-97' Restaurant work [ Orapax ]; I painted
97' Commercial roofing

Oct 16, 1995 - Million Man March 
I've seen some nice studios: home studios and recording studio.  " The World " 94-95: first recorded at Blounts aka Shinzu's house, then re-recorded  at Third Eye studio, " Magnetic Pull " 95', "Lord Ur-ros " were recorded in 3rd Eye Studio.. *" First blood " was recorded at 3rd Eye Studio in 1999, later relocating in 1999

Norfolk State University - " Money be the Root of All Evil " with my main man Manifest aka Hannibal Steel 96; " Magnetic Pull " Virginia University 96-97; Clubs: The Cave 96-97 amongst other spots. I've been in some nice staged ciphers/battles as well. 

Crews: I never liked groups because of the issues that came with them. There were too many control issues. I wish to sell and market my own product then after success " funds-resources " I'd expand. I felt my spirit & vision was way different from the people around me. No better or worst, in fact I enjoyed their  work but our styles were different. I simply felt uncomfortable around them. I couldn't find my A-likes and really wasn't looking.

I was raised in Virginia Beach, but I relocated to Norfolk because it was cheaper. I hunted the apartment down, checked the area out during the day and night, and it was cool.  I met a lot of cool people in Norfolk, and I learned a lot out there. 

I moved back with family, because  after the 2nd lease was up because things were looking great music wise, and I wanted to invest money into studio time. I felt something positive was about to happen.

I decide to move back to Virginia Beach
98' The reason I moved back was because I wanted to invest money into studio time Things were looking great. I was relating with an array of people which was partially the problem because trust wasn't developed. I was interested in understanding my creative side of self in the studio: my voice, attitude, writings.. I wanted to sculpt it. I wanted to build a character, privately. I performed and participated at a couple colleges, a university, and recieved positive feed back from other artists and spectators that attended the events. The thing was I wanted something that I could sell in my hands. A tape [back then] or cd. I felt  there was no need performing, or being on a mix tape if you didn't have anything to sell.
These are older writings that I put together back in 95 to 98'. They're mixed with tax folders that came into being, at later date, but if you start the video 2:23 it will go directly into older writings..

Part - 1 of 2
Old tax notes & writings

The second half of some of my writings from 95 to 98'
Part -2 of 2
Old writings

Everything was great in Norfolk. Opportunities were there but I felt I couldn't move the way I needed to accomplish the goals I was aiming for. It's hard paying bills for an apartment and investing [without personal equipment] into projects at the same time. I simply matured. I wanted to be professional.

My Goals:
I wanted to put a project together as an artist.

I wanted an entertainment/production company

I wanted to get into film


I needed money to do all of these things.


I desired to move back in with family.


Because I felt success was around the corner, so I needed money [Power] to invest on it.

The Issues 

My definition of success and loyalty differed from most of the people I related with.  I didn't want to be a loyal servant/worker. I wanted to be ' free ' to do as I wish ' an entrepreneur '. I didn't even want to give orders because I felt and still feel, whole heartedly, if you aren't paying people for their sevices, and you are profiting, you aren't being righteous, unless you are doing some type of humanitarian service. Now, there are exceptions to the rule: volunteer workers [college students getting credit for school, street teams]; agreements with associates or group policies. But if you are just an associate, friend, family member that could be cut at anytime for any reason - you should pay up!  

 I'm not a follower or a sidekick. I want people to say not only is he a talented artist but he's also an excellent business man.
And I believe before you lead [hire] you should first have power [money], and have a firm understanding of it.

If I took a career test, self test, aptitude test or any type of personality test whether exoteric or esoteric, it would say ' Do your own thang '. I'm here to network. 99.9 percent of the time I went out, people asked me to roll with them. Very rarely would I call anyone and say, " pick me up " even if I needed something.  I try to stay out of people's way, because I didn't want to hear anybody say " he used me " because that's a trend. Let's go into my mind around 1998' after I returned with family so I could invest money into my own projects.

Part - 1 of 2 
Video describes the mind-state through 1998 and 99 when  I returned home to family and to older fines and poor transportation bills and issues, but to there were positives things going on music wise.

Part - 2 of 2 
Additional information to give greater detail between 1998 and 1999 

The Problem:
The debt came immediately when I returned to Virginia beach in at the very end of 1997-98. I had transportation issues:  car issues, poor bus lines [effecting payment of the debt]; the environment: situation [the home environment: I had a brother that came home from the system; Before I moved out, it was just her and I], location [the mentality of the people in Norfolk and Virginia Beach are very different, especially on the side of town where I resided].

I rented a room twice
At the end of 98-  I rented a room twice with 2 different people one of them I was suppose to have rented a room but I ended up on the couch because 2 extra people were there when I arrived. One of them was in the room I was told I would have. It didn't last 2 months.
98-99'- The other place was with a young lady, somewhere near the end of 98', who knew the person at the last residence [ she approached me with the idea then ].  But one of the prior room mates soon started talking to her, and he moved in. I stopped getting rides to the job [after dude moved in: She told me I didn't have to pay rent prior to me moving in, but I said I would need a ride to work <National Abatement>, and she agreed to give me rides]. I believe she asked me to move in because she didn't feel safe at the time. Later, associates and I went out to a club one night and I believe someone at the club put something in my drink because I blacked out.. and it was a mess. I don't know what happened.  The story told to me afterwards was crazy, the vehicle's windshield was cracked but my hands, body was uninjured. We argued and I moved back in with family.

After the 2 attempts to leave I decided to stay where I was at. I had all of these issues: DUI, fender bender, Obstruction of Justice..., I was crippled. Plus the original reason I came back home - music, was looking pretty good and I connected with a big family on my father side whom I've never known but I knew I had to have my thing together - before meeting them.

Frequency Magazine/12 Monkey Studio/Word of Mouth

 dudes were about their business 
And the time period I associated with them was extremely profitable even if money wasn't made:

Video shows where 12 Monkey Studio location was

' So you I can safely say I'm associating with the right people.. 
 I moved back in at the end of 1997, the beginning of 1998. '

These 2 videos show where the ' Word of Mouth  ' location was in 98-99 - 
where it was in 00-02' until maybe o3' - 

Word of Mouth Location - A

Word of Mouth Location -B

Rob, Blount and Eric bond was tighter and their connections expanded. People were fighting to get next to them and I don't blame them. The talent was ridiculous! You'd be in the studio chillin next thing you know, a nigga is in your face wanting to battle and he was tight! The styles varied from afrocentric to straight street and nobody was wack. They had the studio, the magazine and the place to perform. They had the connections. I seeing niggaz from New York, they were in the community, Russell Simmons was in the magazine. They were connected to colleges. Rob went to school and got connected, Blount was the People's Champ and Eric was the master mind of graphic design. All 3 were different.

My money won't right: gear was scruffy, I just moved back home, I got the DUI, Interference with officer on duty/Obstruction of Justice, sued from a fender bender.. 
I was trying to play the wall and make a few baby steps.

 I didn't know most all of the people and it seemed as though many of them didn't know each other but people were moving fasst! The people were cool but there seem to be a little.. suspicion floating in the air. I went in and out. I was going through things with the people at home.
It seemed that people wanted more from me but I didn't have it. 
I was paranoid. It is too easy to get into trouble and after I got a charge for trying to help and no one showed up for court. I changed drastically. I was the energetic one, but I became the introspective one. After a few of my ideas were shot down, the trip to D.C. missed its target; license suspension.. maan the old D died. I couldn't even mimic him.

At the end of 99-00' D.C. Plot
I had the charges [ DUI, The fender Bender, obstruction of justice - which was really an interference with arrest but since nobody was arrested, they became ' Obstruction of Justice ' charges ]..  the year started off good but turned into a nightmare.
my older brother Jerry some how came into the picture. I get his #, call him and ask him prices for beats and or production. He says we could work something out with copryrights or something. So I don't have to pay him any money. 
I still had the vehicle at the time but I knew soon I wasn't going to be driving. Rob9 had the magazine going. I figured, I could sell the car and use the money to produce a project,  and put it in his magazine ' Frequency Magazine '. In exchange I would take his magazine to the DC area where Jerry was at. Rob9 wasn't interested in the idea. He was having problems circulating locally. He was like if I was under his management, it would be a different story.
That sounded damn good because he had the best connections locally, but I didn't want to be an artist. I wanted an entertaiment company. And he had too many people interested in him.
I had to go without him, but that was a damn good idea [And that's what I wanted, Be paid for good ideas-plans]
So I sold the car for $750 and bought a bus ticket to DC.

It was nice out there. The people were cool but I'm all about business. I'm thinking -  in & out.
I think I was there 4 days [too many]. I wanted to leave in 2 days max. My brother [Jerry] was waiting for a particular beat machine though they had some equipment, so he just showed me the area and introduced me to his people.

When I went to DC, the dumb shh  followed - I took about a $300 lost
One of my brother's associates wanted some weed  and he was like ride with me. I said ' ok.. '
[prior to this incident, I went out with them and we got into some play time - they had dancers and such. I grab the mic one night and I rocked it with a few of his people. It was fun] 
I was beginning to feel comfortable out there. So as we were riding 12:00 DAYLIGHT. He was pointing things out, schooling me to how they hustle out there. Pointing at people you'd think were everyday citizen/construction workers saying ' hustlers! ' I was like they fronting that hard ?
We got to where he was trying to go.. and from no where. The Army National Guard jumped out on us and got him. Took him away! The main dude [an Army National Guard soldier], a brother, asked me for my ID an he seen I wasn't from the area, so he asked me my story.  I  told him I was visiting my brother, and I also mentioned that I was in the National Guard back in 92'. He Looked at my ID, and he said " I'ma let you go, because we have the same birthday. "  I was thinking, finally some good luck. I was sitting in the car and the people in the hood were very upset - shooting an invisible gun at dude with their hands. I guess they thought we were informants. The dude I road with was yelling back at them saying " We aint narks! "
The National Guard soldier, told me to leave immediately [I guess they needed to set up for the next bust, so I drove off and somehow found my way back to their crib. I called my brother, so he could help him out. Dude was mad that I left, because he had to walk back home.. and my brother and the other room mate were upset, he took me out there. It  cooled down. 
I said something to Jerry about speeding things up and I mentioned I was trying to leave the house because he know how it is there and he said something like " don't talk about mom? " I looked at him like he was crazy.
we finally recorded something then got into yet another argument and I left with nothing.

This dude only lived with us for 2 years but, he witnessed the drama and I use to stick up for him and to me he was acting like we grew up in the same residence for 18 years.

I was dumbfounded because my mother and him didn't seem close from what I seen.

He also said something like you are suppose to be in Virginia[?].
The straw that broke the camel's back was when he tried making me take a copy and when I refused it, he said something like well I'll erase it
I stood up and said where's the button. He erased it and [so called] hit another button playing something I did with his room mate. 
We argued about that. I went up the steps and told his room mate to erase it, 
but he didn't speak or come out the room.

I should have did something with his room mate when I think about it. I would've been gone. 

The next day, I left back to the beach with nothing, -$300.00

All he had to do was [a] find an instrumental I was comfortable with [b] put it down on a track [c] recorded my vocals on a separate track from the instrumental [d] delete the instrumental [e] build another beat over the vocal track while I was gone [f] mix it [g] send it to me in the mailbox simple.

I said to myself  I'm getting my own toys..

I felt and feel the problems that I was facing revolved around status and control issues. If they liked Dre, they wanted someone to play Snoop; If they liked RZA, they wanted someone to play Meth, ODB, ect. I developed  a mask, an exaggerated persona to combat the trends I was experiencing and it read ' I need fool control ' over every aspect of my career , not  job, not art, not family, but my career which is apart of 
' My Life ',   

' I'm trying to do business. '

At the time technology wasn't heavily in the picture. When technology came into the picture, everything changed because you could get a beat right off of the computer. 

There was a saying by producers, 
" There's a million rappers out there ". 
Well after the computer came into the picture artists could say, 
" There's a million beatmakers/producers out there. "

The competition heightened for everybody. I was thinking to myself on the way back, my brother and I got into an argument because I didn't want to take a copy with me.
 C r a z y

When I returned, I was more focused then ever. I figured bump it, I'm going to have to get my own equipment. 

After  I returned from D.C. between 99-00', I got a job at Pizza Hut.

* Also at this time I put together 2 songs and uploaded them into the music sites.

' First Blood ' [produced  and mixed by PK for 3rd Eye Studio] and ' Lord Ur-ros ' [recorded in 3rd eye in 97' for the Spot Music project for 19th, I got it mixed at Woodhouse Av Inc., It was also remixed for the " Pyschotic Philosix " project which by far was the best version]

I wanted the experience putting pieces together in the bigger studios [paying money because I wanted to feel like I was handling business]. I wasn't interested in selling the work because I thought there were uncleared samples in songs. I just wanted to go through the motions.
It would be on for the world to see and respond to, and that was a step.

I quickly and humbly placed an application into a Pizza Hut Delivery restaurant, in the cut. I worked there for a couple of months, before I put a 2 weeks notice in to start work for  Locco Streetwear with Rob9 around march 2000.

98' construction jobs/the tempory services/[moving company] until I worked at National Abatement at the end of  98'

99' - Protemp[plan B]; National Abatement; Apple Bee's [waiting tables]; Cavalier [waiting tables and room service]; Protemp[plan B]

*  [99 summer] This is when I got in the fender bender[foot slid off of the brakes at a red light]; ' Obstruction of justice ' [we were doing music, someone  knocked on the door and all I seen was 2 arms pulling someone out of the house, it just so happened to be the cops]; DUI [Went out on 2pacs birthday/.108 3.5- 4 beers]- All during the summer.

00'-   Pizza Hut Delivery restaurant, in the cut. I walked to worked. Click  this Video. It will show the distance I had to walk because I didn't have a drivers license. I worked there for a couple of months, then put a 2 weeks notice in and I started working for Locco Streetwear with Rob9. Worked there through the summer. I got paid to help them pack up, and relocate back to NYC and during the two trips we were discussing the arrangements of the songs for the Locco Compilation Mixtape Cd ' Psychotic Philosix.


Then after that came to an end I worked a variety of different jobs including Mattress - USA and First Colony in Norfolk [Click Video Below].


* 1998 moved back home with mother/family car issues, living
* 1998' close to $1000 court bill from a 1991 court case
* 1999 fender bender sued for $2-3000
* 1999 DUI fines[court], classes, no insurance fine from DMV.. forgot but it was high!
* 1999 Obstruction of justice $160 plus
Late 1998-99' got in touch with paternal family 
1999 Frequency Magazine/12 monkey Studios in the same building: opportunities
*1999-2000 mastered the songs ' Lord Ur-ros ' & ' First Blood ' and put them on
* 2000 Locco clothing store
* 2ooo Locco Compilation: I contributed a song named ' Lord Ur-ros '

00' - Locco Streetwear - Store Shipping;
The year 2000 was my 7th strongest year financially between the years of 1995 and 2005' I didn't get all of my tax forms though. And it was without a drivers license! I beat every year prior to it besides 96 and 97' which were the years I had my own apartment with a car. I worked a lot of temp service jobs, because of a raggedy bus line. I realized at this point that if anything was going to be done. 

I had to take things to the extreme - no play.

I'm consistently moving forward
I feel I was dealing with the BEST on all levels BUT.. I had my own vision. 
I'm a natural trailblazer/entrepreneur. It was ok working there, constant movement.

Lafeyette Towers in Norfolk with the 
Def Jam Street Team, 
Rob and Blount

After the Locco Wear Compilation in 2000, Rob9 of Self Pro was working on another CD compilation called ' Versatility '  around 2002 or 2003, and he asked me if I wanted to be on that project, and I was like " I'm ok . Let the other brothers rock it " because niggaz were fighting for shine and honestly I didn't want it [shine]. 
I really didn't want the song ' Lord Ur-ros ' to be on the first compilations - ' Psychotic Philosix ' because we recorded the song about 2-3 years prior to its release. I felt the song didn't fit the project and there were clicks-defects in it [on the violin  sample]. I also felt  it was  too monotone.  I felt it could've been edited  [produced] better and also I was getting more vocal on the business tip. I wanted to be paid for my work. 
Rob was like, we could make another one, but I wasn't interested in recording anything. I think they had at least 10 songs recorded, through the years and I had other material out there.
wanted to be PAID for songs, and I wanted to pay for beats - business transaction.
They felt since they had most of the connections and resources, and everyone was going to get free promotion because Locco attended fashion shows and ect, everyone should be happy their on the project. Rob9 and Eric had worked for a strong independent clothing line and were connected to all of the right people. Now, if I had a project or a product to promote, a brand, I would have felt what they were saying, because I could have built momentum off of it, but I didn't, so to me it was pointless to be on the project. If I had my own [strong] sources: associates: money; connections: family, it would have been a great idea, a completely different story. I didn't want to shine if the right people weren't around me. I'm trying to play the wall. 
There was too much hating going on for me to' rock ' a mic for free. You're going to have to pay me to put my neck out there, and I gotta be powerful and supple and surrounded by my people, not theirs. Even though, I was treated extremely well on all levels: free shows, access to important people, respect due to their association, it would all fall if I went my own way. I needed paper, and to be seen as an independent/entrepreneur - not as an artist.  I felt the extra was just that. It's kind of like a job having cook outs and parties every weekend then saying ' I'm taking it out of your check '. I felt like bump a cook out. I don't care if Prince was at the cook out every weekend, I'd rather have checks.  

needed my own identity: Lord Ur-ros as an artist and  my own entertainment company for starters.. I desired my own alliances, people that dealt with me first-hand.  They had plenty high caliber artists in their midst, hungry for the opportunity to show their skills and a lot of them were fresh talent, willing to do things for free, which decreased my value - as they grew. So I stepped out of their way while they were still moving up [fasst].

Rob of Self Pro Productions worked with me at Locco Streetwear [set me up with the job at Locco and I've done side jobs through him], through the years [94 to that point]. He was the one that did most of  the production on the music I recorded.  He was the President or Vice President for Frequency Magazine [Eric was the CEO/Owner,  head graphic designer] which business office was in 12 Monkeys Studio in 99. They were partners or something with the person that owned 12 Monkeys Studio [recording side] and were well connected. I got along with Rob9 and his circle: his family, his wife and her people, associates [too many to name].  He had powerful and talented connects and was an extremely hard worker which was partially the problem, in my opinion - which he was sick of hearing, in my opinion - which is why we probably stopped talking, in my opinion. Rob and I had drastically different opinions, goals, philosophies, visions... We disagreed on that fact. I 'd say man I don't see like most of these people and he was like, that is what makes it good and I was like... I'm arguing with my mother, I don't need to be arguing on the streets. Well he had a opinion about that. He felt what I had problems with was nothing. His view was there are people out here that have drug problems.. I  was like they created it, this lady doesn't like me maaan

The Queen is the most powerful piece on the chessboard

We disagreed about everything. His pops looked and spoke like Phil Donahue and his 
mother reminded me of Sally Jesse Raphael. Eric [black] for some time lived at Rob9's [white] house, with his parents. Everyone that partied met at Rob's house.. His parents were coool with him and his associates. I got the impression you could knock on Rob's parents door with a personal problem [I never did] and talk to them and they would genuinely listen. I spoke to his dad several times and he radiates warmth and understanding. My mother is cool but we don't get along maan.
Eric was the graphic designer for Locco Streetwear and for Frequency Magazine [here is a magazine he did graphics for in 2009 for Seven Magazine]
Blount aka ' Shinzu ' introduced me to the circle, though I always seen Rob and his friends at the court when I would walk to the store when I first moved to the area, was the ' people's champ '. He had heavy street influence with the people: ' street and conscious ', and he was a producer/artists. He had 'Word of mouth ',  Hosted events and stuff. He was a great artist himself, his work was loaded with substance and he is a good brother, though we butted heads a lot early on, because we both had strong personalities. We didn't agree on too much of anything. But he was extremely supportive. His family was strong and behind him like he was ' Black Jesus ' He would bust out with what he felt on his chest when and where he liked. His mother and father were like Right on!! Speak! 
I honestly feel he is a chosen. 
In my family, I felt I was treated like Esau and my younger and oldest brothers, twin souls, were treated like Jacobs. They were favored by my mother whom I liken to Rebekah. ' They are a trinity' but for me, It is a mess.  

' Iron sharpens iron. ' 
We [Blount, Rob9 Eric.. and myself] differed to our roots: family background, they went to school together,  they had an understanding, and then I came. 
Blount grew/expanded as quickly as Rob and Eric.
Though in the end Eric was the most impressive to me business wise. The others dealt directly with artists on an entertainment level which is harder to reap rewards in my opinion. By far that circle had the most impressive network system locally, besides Tommy or King T. Most of the people I associated with after 1998 to 2002 were from that circle. I basically wanted my own circle. And after I connected to my family on my father's side in 1998', I decided to seize the opportunities and privileges ' loyalty ' that would come from from us connecting. After I build with my family I would re-connect with these and the likes.

Credentials and the development of conservative principles: Change
I'm Goal oriented. I'm moving forward. Everything looks decent. I don't have any kids and that's a purposeful thing. So you are going to see a lot of I[s]. I left my own crib to move back in so I could invest with others on projects, but their business direction didn't reflect my message which was to come together to help everyone be their own man so we could elevate ourselves and others  from ' the untouchables ' and ' workers ' into a business men. I wanted to build a business caste or class through Hip Hop. I felt that we should put the artists above everyone including the owners of the studios, the owners of establishments we were performing in...  But they seen things differently. They felt since they were connected to these resources Hip Hop artists should submit to the fact that they had the connects. 

' When Tupac and Biggie got shot it was quite. Entered Master P whom filled a void for Pac and Jay-z whom filled avoid for Biggie. It went from the streets to the dance floor to the strip clubs. '

Now this blog covers the 3rd quarter of 2000, but lets look further ahead to the very end of 2001 when I decided to get a credit card for a moment. because if I am going to be successful I have to get into the credit game because I didn't have the type of supported needed to acquire money power respect. People aren't trying to give you nothing: credit [personal/professional] , money, unless they have to, because it wasn't about power with most of the people I came in contact with which is why there wasn't an interest of money. when you  deal with people, 
It's about control. We were already reading ' The Art of War '.. but in 1998, ' The 48 Laws of Power ' came out and Rule #1 is

 ' Never Out Shine the Master '
The only question was who is the master? and how do you determine who is the master?

Chapters: 1 l 2 l 3 l 4 l 5 l 6 l 7 l 8 l 9 l 10 l The End: New Beginnings